Wednesday 26 December 2012

Making Her Fall In Love With You....!

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Having been in the situation in the past where I was totally in love with a woman who just didn't seem to feel the same way, I know how important it can be to figure out what it is that you need to do to make her feel that way about you. They say that nothing quite feels like winning the love of a woman and from experience, I'd have to agree with that saying. If you want to make a woman feel like she is falling in love with you, there are certain things that you are going to have to do so that you make her feel the emotions that need to be present in order for her to feel that way.

Here are 3 sure fire tips for winning a woman's heart that just might help you out if there is a woman you want to fall in love with you:

1. You don't get there by trying to force it to happen.

As much as you might like to be able to find a way to kind of force her to feel a certain way about you, that's just not something that you can do. You can do your best to guide her there and to do all of the things that are going to influence her on an emotional level to feel that way, but you won't get there by trying to force it to happen.

2. You also don't get there by being platonic with her and hoping that she is the one that makes the move on you.

This is what used to be my Achilles heel when it came to love. I was too passive and acted too platonic and as a result, I was more of a friend to her and not someone she felt romantic about. That is a big mistake that I used to make and it is one that I think a lot of guys make when they are trying to win a woman's heart. The reality is, you can't act platonic with a woman and expect her to have romantic feelings for you.

3. You will get there if you know how to continuously make her feel attracted to you.

Being able to make a woman feel a little bit attracted to you is not good enough. And being able to make her feel a lot of attraction but only as a one time thing is also not enough. You have to make her feel a continuous attraction towards you in order for her to feel like it really is love that she is feeling.

Friday 14 December 2012

6 Loving Gestures to Make Her Feel Special Every Day....!

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"Gestures, in love, are incomparably more attractive, effective and valuable than words." ~Francois Rabelais

Men too often don't learn from their mistakes. Some do but often too late. How many dates and relationships must fail before we learn? We often wonder, "Why is it so hard to make her feel special?" Wouldn't it be great if we could learn from the mistakes of those who came before us? Doesn't matter if they're under the ground... we just want their wisdom. If only it was this easy...

I've frustrated myself at times when I mess up and know I could've done better. We're so good at getting caught red handed. This doesn't mean we have bad intentions. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's just that once you're put into action you might forget. When we mess up though, and whether there are consequences or not we need to get back up. That's what responsible men do. So here are a few life lessons on loving gestures to make her feel special I thought I'd share. This isn't to point the finger, but rather to hopefully give you a head start and minimize the damage.

Don't view these as a checklist. If you do then it won't come out genuine. Think of them as loving gestures to make her feel special and you must be sincere about it. Put your heart into it. If you're just checking the box to get something out of it you will be exposed and she won't like it. And most importantly, do not do these with selfish intentions. A loving gesture must be done out of love and affection, not because you feel guilty about something. If you're in the dog house, you'll need to walk an extra mile or 2. These loving gestures to make her feel special are not to help you get away with being a jerk. If you do use them that way she'll then associate a loving gesture with you being guilty for something. You don't want to go there.

These are the six things you should have in your mind:
  • Know Her
  • Listen to Her
  • Be Affectionate
  • We're all Students - Learn from your Sisters & Female Friends
  • The little things matter... more than you think
  • Keep the romance alive


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1) Know Her - Start now because there will be something new to learn every day.

How important is this? It's an absolute must. What does she like? What does she hate? What does she find difficult? What makes her cranky? Being her man doesn't just mean being athletic, smart or ridiculously good looking. It means complementing her strengths and weaknesses. But how are you going to do that if you don't know all there is to know about her? It isn't hard. Maybe she hates pumping gas or taking out the trash. If she had a horrible day what can you do to change that? Listen and find out.

Learn her love language and How to Make Her Feel Special - Everyday. If she likes gifts then get her gifts. If she likes quality time then quality time it is. It doesn't matter how you like to receive love. For you it might be doing something nice like fixing her car's engine, but what she really wants is to spend time together.

Another sure way to get to know her is by listening.

2) Listen - Being physically present or "listening" does not mean you're fully engaged in the conversation.

The funny thing about listening is that we think we're capable of really listening while also doing something else. We know we can't multitask. So why do we try listening to her and checking the sports scores? It doesn't matter if you can repeat it back verbatim. Be honest, you know you weren't giving her your full attention. You know what else will get you in trouble? "Listening" while she's talking about something important to her. Not a good idea. And if you're not sure what the important topics are then you need to get to know her. Women are emotionally different then us and if one of these conversations start you need to pay attention. Now I'm not saying you'll always know exactly when it's an important topic. It's not like she's going to axe you because you messed up. But don't make it a pattern or you might find yourself not being listened too. Be respectful. You might have legitimate excuses. I know I have. But what is the end goal? Understanding their perspective and feelings or being right? You decide for yourself.

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." ~Peter F Drucker

3) Be Affectionate

Hold her hand. Give her a hug. Massage her back. If you have children it's important that they see you guys being affectionate. Affection shows that you care. Don't make it sexual. Women need non-sexual affection. Hollywood, magazines and most everyone already think that sex is all men think about. Prove them wrong and show her you care. Loving gestures to make her feel special are all about her, not satisfying yourself. There's a time and a place and getting naked is not all the time.

4) We're all students
 
As a youngster I felt this great need to always be right. I couldn't even take advice from my sisters or female friends. Guess what? They have some awesome insight and advice. Don't be too proud to be the student of life and go take some pointers. After all, we already know women are different from men so who better to accept advice from?

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." ~Robert Frost

5) The little things matter... more than you think
Make her day an important element of yours. Ask how her day went? What about her goals? Did something crappy happen today? These are all elements of her happiness. Instead of asking why she's cranky inquire how her day went. You might feel tempted to ask and truly need her attention but it never hurts to give a little of your time first.

Think back to a time a friend did something small for you that truly made your day. It was an ordinary day with ordinary crap thrown in it but that small something changed it all around. That's what you can do for her. Need a clue? Start listening and get to know her. Don't be discouraged if you've been together for years. You'll continually be learning new things about her. Get excited!

6) Keep the romance alive
Remember the first time you saw her and wanted to ask her out? Remember all the little gestures you did to win her over? Why'd you stop? She's still hanging out with you, right? It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Cook her dinner. Go for a walk and watch the sunset. Tell her she's beautiful. Kiss her. Write a letter. Watch the kids. The ideas are endless if you make it a priority.

Final thoughts:
You might feel like hitting yourself over the head. Don't give up. These suggestions are to encourage and motivate change. I wrote this and still get it wrong from time to time. She isn't expecting you to be perfect either. Put these loving gestures to make her feel special in your back pocket... handy, right where it needs to be.

Saturday 24 November 2012

How to Have a Man Fall in Love With Your Personality...!

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Women don't realize that their personality can become their strongest power over men. Men are attracted by women that have unique characteristics and personality. No man will be attracted to a woman who is a complainer, and generally have bad attitude. Also, a man doesn't like a woman who is a controller in nature. Remember that men don't want to be controlled by anyone.

So, if you want to make a man fall in love with you, do it from your personality. Develop an attractive personality and the right man will be attracted to you. You must be aware that your personality will only attract the man who is suitable for that personality. For instance, if you are moody in nature, you'll attract a temperamental person. Or, at least you'll attract a jerk. If you don't want this to happen to you, then change it.

If you have a kind and gentle personality, you'll attract to yourself a man who will respect you and admire you. It's about having a positive personality and showing it to the world. However, don't be showy in doing that. You don't want them to think negatively about you, even if you think that you're showing them good personality.

In developing a good personality, you need one thing called habit. To be blunt, habit is the single factor that will shape your personality. A good habit will bring forth a good personality. A bad habit will bring forth bad personality. So, obviously one thing that you need to do--for starter--is to change your habit into good habit.

First of all, you need to examine the habits that you have. List all good habits and bad habits that you think you have in your life. Don't be shy and don't lie to yourself. Face yourself in the light of truth. Write whatever good habits and bad habits that you do in your life in a blank note. Write until you can't think another habit.

After writing a list of habits that you have, next you need to make sure to read the list that you've written. Those good habits are the habits that you need to keep in your life. Preferably, you need to do those habits more often. And the bad habits that you've written are the habits that you need to avoid and throw away from your life.

The key is to be aware of what you're doing in any given moment. If you catch yourself doing bad habit, you should remind yourself that this will not be good for your personality. It's the same when you catch yourself doing good habit. You should appreciate yourself because you're developing good personality. In this way, you can progress in creating an attractive personality that will get any man fall in love with you.

Sunday 11 November 2012

Do you know the 4types of love?

 

Love - a single word that holds a lot of meaning and power. And while it brings joy and gratitude to anyone who hears it, this can also cause confusion. When you say "I love my mother," "I love my cat" or "I love my work," it does not necessarily mean that you are feeling the same or equal amount of love for these three different things that you "love". Given that love is more of a choice and action than a just a feeling, your actions of love may also be according to different degrees. So, what are the types of love and how do they differ from each other?

Agape
First on the list of the types of love is agape. Agape is actually what contemporary Greek refers to as "unconditional love", or a love that IS love, like in the phrase s'agapo, meaning, "I love you". During the ancient Greek, the word actually referred to "true love's" deepest sense, instead of the simple attraction. This is even used for describing the contented feeling or putting someone in a very high regard. Agape is used for expressing the unconditional love given by God to all His creations.

Eros
The passionate love that is combined with longing and sensual desire, eros is something taken from "erotas" or "intimate love." But it does not necessarily mean that eros is a love that is sexual by nature. You can interpret this as the love you have for someone who is more than a friend to you. Out of the types of love, this one is best fit for marriage and dating relationships.

Philia
Modern Greek defines philia as affectionate love or friendship. Among the different types of love, this one is dispassionate and virtuous love, the concept of which has been developed by none other than Aristotle. This includes the loyalty to family, friends, community and calls for equality, familiarity and virtue.

Storge
Storge, the last in the list of the types of love, pertains to affection in both modern and ancient Greek. This is a kind of natural affection as what parents feel for their children. Storge has rarely been used in the ancient works, almost solely to describe the relationships in a family. Ancient texts used the term for denoting the feelings parents feel for their children or a husband and wife's feeling for one another. This is also being used for expressing putting up or accepting situations, like "loving a tyrant."

Other Types of Love in This World
There are basically only four major types of love but there are still others emotions that ought to be acknowledged as well. And while these emotions are not love they are commonly mistaken for love prematurely. The first of which is crush. First crushes are really memorable, as this is when you experience some somersaults inside your stomach. Surely we all know that somewhat stupid grin on your face each time your crush passes by. What an amazing rush!

You also have the so-called obsessive, or that kind of love that borders on being too clingy. This kind of feeling is not considered as healthy because it can give you the tendency to manipulate your partner's life that may then lead to them leaving you altogether. More often than not, this kind of emotion is being experienced by novice lovers or those who have "fallen in love" for the first time. Scared and insecure, obsessive lovers tend to go so overboard that their relationships usually end because of it.

Last and definitely the most painful kind of love is unrequited love, or loving even if you know that the other person can never love you back. Full of pains and heartaches, this love is unfortunately one sided and although you might be in a relationship, chances are you will never get the happiness that you wish for because you know that the love you can give does not equal the love that you will receive by far.

The four major types of love and the other feelings mentioned are all essential and as the old saying goes, they make the world go round. Without these, there is no way for people to express how they feel about others and tell these people how much they mean to them. They will never be able to show what they want to show, and learn the things that they need to learn. Love teaches people a lot of things and without it, life might as well be considered as incomplete.

The different types of love might technically differ in meaning but at the end of the day, what is important is that we know how to love, not just ourselves but also others, especially God who love us more than we deserve.

Relation, "an aspect or quality (as resemblance or causality) that connects two or more things or parts as being or belonging or working together, as being of the same kind, or as being logically connected."

Saturday 10 November 2012

Why Do You Continue Going On With Someone Who You KNOW Isn't for You?




She "fell in love" after having had "a hard time behind her". And soon enough he became very significant for her. And soon enough he decided they should move in together. And soon enough he began to "advise" her "how to do her life", what activities to get involved with, which friends to see or not see, how often to call sick at work, and so on and so forth.


Why do people stay in a relationship which isn't good?Deep inside she felt he is not for her! Deep inside she knew something is wrong! But she kept being with him, following his "advice", letting him decide almost everything related to her and to them. During the months they spent together she became more and more frustrated, more and more disillusioned and angrier. Still, she stayed in the relationship. And she might have stayed there longer, if it wasn't him who left her for another woman...
This woman's story is not a-typical. It might have happened to you, or to people you know. It is a story which happens often, and is often the theme of a novel or a movie. But if such a story happened to you, the fact that it is not a-typical shouldn't comfort you. What might concern you is the question: what has made you fall for someone like that and for a relationship like that?
In case it has happened once in your life-time, this is one thing. But in case you often find yourself in similar situations, you may want to ask yourself: What's going on here? What attracts me to people who aren't for me? And, most important: What makes me hand on to such people and in such relationships?
Confronting your fears and needs is important
It is only when you ask yourself these questions and are willing to take a closer look at yourself that you can realize what makes you behave in self-sabotaging and self-hurting ways. It might well be that you are driven by uncontrolled needs for love and attention; by the fear of being alone; or by a bottomless neediness to be in a relationship in order to "prove" to yourself that you are desirable, attractive and/or good company (which might help you deal with self-esteem issues).
Whatever the reason for your "falling in love" with people who aren't for you and for "sticking on" with them, it is highly probable that you are frustrated, angry, sad, disillusioned, and insecure about the way you "do" life and relationships.
Why is Self-Awareness is the solution?
In order to figure out the reason for your emotional and behavioral patterns, you may want to consider developing your Self-Awareness. That means, getting in touch with whatever it is It is when you develop your awareness and get in touch with a host of factors which exert power of you, that you can begin to change you attitudes and behaviors and become able to find, develop and maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship.